Back from a therapeutic holiday

Just got back from Tioman...this time it is really a MUCH NEEDED BREAK...from all the insanity that Im faced with...so not funny anymore.

Turn back time

If I could,



I wanna be a kid again~


Where I feel free and protected in the arms of my parents.

Because everything is just so fucked up..EVERYTHING tht is happening in my life.

For once, i feel like a GIRL...i cried nonstop to the point tht i dont even care if ppl are looking....i stayed strong for too long..its about time...nobody can help me, I cant help myself...game over.

Because ONE day, it might just happen...do not be surprised.

greaaat

WOW...working two weekends in a row, sat n sun...wowza really....like really~

Not good

Today i got back here, feeling more depressed than I have ever felt for the past four yrs...Now this is the real deal, I am definitely coming back to HELL....n i wonder why I felt depressed for no reason last time when Im coming back here for Uni....i wish I could turn back the clock n appreciate those coming-back-to-Uni moments....

I bawled like a baby as I watched my dad's little toyota slowly disappeared away from my bus view...its really depressing n I am not pulling a drama queen here...I even had to blow my nose quietly to avoid unwanted attention.

Its not that Im unhappy for no reason, but Im really seriously unhappy of the whole situation here...Work.

As expected, work is really creating a huge misery for me, to begin with I did not receive my pay for the mth of Jan because of my transfer n complicated position in the company...drama drama drama all over again....n work has not been a smooth ride for me, even tho I have been working for wat?five mths?by right I should be blending in comfortably already but I still feel like a complete stranger shun by others...maybe its coz Im really stupid...slow...dense..watever reason.

Many ppl told me "Just quit la if ur so unhappy"....Trust me I definitely LOVE to quit, but not now...because I am a NOBODY, i cant possibly quit and then start all over again expecting a better environment n better pay...no way~...plus the fact that Im under Employment Pass, so its really hard to get a job if you have a "bad record"....so die die must suck it up for at least few more mths.

I am on still on leave today but I have been doing nothing but check emails n clearing all work related shit since I got back for the past few hours.....

I hate this shit....n I am missing home already.

Wake up call

Today I finally got a wake up call...i checked my BMI at the gym n OH BOY my fat percentage was ABOVE the normal range!!!FML indeed...n to think tht i was so skinny two mths back...with half the fat percentage of the range...n 2kgs lighter...i know u must be thinking 2kgs is nothing but i swear I do feel fatter n today's measurement just frickin' sealed the deal alright~

I dont know, maybe its the drinking, maybe its the gym, maybe its the temptation of Raf Place's food,maybe coz I pulled out of dance or maybe its everything combined....I have never felt so disgusted before I swear....to fall out from the average range is just disgusting, its like saying you're Obese!...call me overreacting but I refuse to succumb to this shit...

Therefore, I fell for it.....I signed on with a PT...there goes...I have better be frickin' fit n toned after this whole shit...I SWEAR....its time to wake up really...n NO i ain't Overreacting!!

N yea, my PT told me to stop drinking so much....yuan lai alcohol really kills...not your liver but ur self esteem...cuz it makes ppl fat....k my resolution is to only drink ONCE a week...haha