Sunday, 20 February 2011
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Not good
Today i got back here, feeling more depressed than I have ever felt for the past four yrs...Now this is the real deal, I am definitely coming back to HELL....n i wonder why I felt depressed for no reason last time when Im coming back here for Uni....i wish I could turn back the clock n appreciate those coming-back-to-Uni moments....
I bawled like a baby as I watched my dad's little toyota slowly disappeared away from my bus view...its really depressing n I am not pulling a drama queen here...I even had to blow my nose quietly to avoid unwanted attention.
Its not that Im unhappy for no reason, but Im really seriously unhappy of the whole situation here...Work.
As expected, work is really creating a huge misery for me, to begin with I did not receive my pay for the mth of Jan because of my transfer n complicated position in the company...drama drama drama all over again....n work has not been a smooth ride for me, even tho I have been working for wat?five mths?by right I should be blending in comfortably already but I still feel like a complete stranger shun by others...maybe its coz Im really stupid...slow...dense..watever reason.
Many ppl told me "Just quit la if ur so unhappy"....Trust me I definitely LOVE to quit, but not now...because I am a NOBODY, i cant possibly quit and then start all over again expecting a better environment n better pay...no way~...plus the fact that Im under Employment Pass, so its really hard to get a job if you have a "bad record"....so die die must suck it up for at least few more mths.
I am on still on leave today but I have been doing nothing but check emails n clearing all work related shit since I got back for the past few hours.....
I hate this shit....n I am missing home already.
I bawled like a baby as I watched my dad's little toyota slowly disappeared away from my bus view...its really depressing n I am not pulling a drama queen here...I even had to blow my nose quietly to avoid unwanted attention.
Its not that Im unhappy for no reason, but Im really seriously unhappy of the whole situation here...Work.
As expected, work is really creating a huge misery for me, to begin with I did not receive my pay for the mth of Jan because of my transfer n complicated position in the company...drama drama drama all over again....n work has not been a smooth ride for me, even tho I have been working for wat?five mths?by right I should be blending in comfortably already but I still feel like a complete stranger shun by others...maybe its coz Im really stupid...slow...dense..watever reason.
Many ppl told me "Just quit la if ur so unhappy"....Trust me I definitely LOVE to quit, but not now...because I am a NOBODY, i cant possibly quit and then start all over again expecting a better environment n better pay...no way~...plus the fact that Im under Employment Pass, so its really hard to get a job if you have a "bad record"....so die die must suck it up for at least few more mths.
I am on still on leave today but I have been doing nothing but check emails n clearing all work related shit since I got back for the past few hours.....
I hate this shit....n I am missing home already.
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